Saturday, December 29, 2007

Stranded so I don't forget

A year has passed, a page turned. Here comes a new year full steam freight train.

So what am I going to do? Who will I become this year? What opportunities will come my way that I am meant to take up? Will there be someone there to help me make my decision, or will I be alone to reach for what I think is right, to take what can at times feel like only my first steps as a man, learning the truth of what it takes.
It can be hard sometimes. But was life meant to be easy? I am not getting that impression so far. I may have it easier than most people in the world, but still just trying to decide whether or not your life and what you do with it has meaning doesn't come easy, even for me. Opportunity.
It feels silly that I should question, when I have just that, each day, the chance to become something more of who I am meant to be.

This evening on my way home, the engine died in the car I was driving. I had to wait for 2 and a half hours in the cold without heat, for AAA to bring a gallon of gas. This was quite frustrating in itself. When I finally drove off it began a most horrid start-stop routine that had me and probably all the other drivers around quite concerned. I was still about 2 miles away from the gas station, and I felt the frustration building. In times like this usually such a situation gives rise to a "damn" under my breath, and I will feel justified for a very short moment.
Opportunity. Yeah, I didn't get mad at the driver that was 2 and a half hours in coming, and I thought of all the people that must be colder than I was at the moment as I was waiting to curb my frustration... But this is getting ridiculous...
The thought of my faith at that moment reminded me that I was forgetting, and even blaming God for things that stemmed from my own mistakes, and I felt ashamed at that moment. The only way I would make it off this dark highway, I thought, is if I trust God. I said the only thing I could think, "God, please let this car start, and get me to the gas station. I am sorry, I do believe in you."
The car started, and drove as I said those words out loud. No more start-stop, not even a cough of the engine until I pulled into Speedway. it wasn't a formula, it was a heart change, and a transfer of trust from my flesh, to my Savior. It was absolutely humbling.

Are the hard things to teach us? I think so. It is the little things that count. The small things are that which will shape me into who I am becoming. Even though it is hard.