"If God made me the way I am should I always like who I am? Who is it I am becoming? What if it is nothing like what I am meant to be and how can I tell?!?" - my thoughts
These questions cut closer to who I am as a man belonging to Christ, and not so much what I chose to do. Why I live, and what I think, and what it is I truly care about... are not those things more important in the long run?
I saw Switchfoot in concert for the first time two weeks ago. The song This Is Your Life was one of the highlights of a very energy charged concert. That message that stood out above all the lights and the performance. (Cool as the concert itself was, I got to meet them afterwords! They are some very cool guys... But I am getting off topic)
This morning before our pastor's message that song was played, and the question asked. "Are you who you want to be?" (I highly suggest watching this mornings message, and the past sermons in the series! You can watch them all online until Saturday the 8th: Southeast Christian Church - Sermons)
So I guess I have to ask myself that question, looking deeper than what I do (My work), or how others perceive me, but to really seek out the man I am inside. I am afraid of what I may find.
I guess we all feel that way at times. It is like we would rather be someone else than face who we truly are. But God gave us our own self to work with, and not another. In turn He gives us the power to choose everyday what will define us. He does give us passion for life at times, and wake up calls to our flesh at others... This is a part of living, and growing in Christ-likeness. It is an everyday choice. So perhaps in answer to those cutting questions, I can say both yes and no. We don't have to like who we are, when we realize we have become something that displeases God. It is in those times we should go to Him and pray for forgiveness, and ask for a will to change our habits daily. But at the same time, we need to thank God for his plan and purpose in making us who we are, and seek to use the gifts he has given us for His glory and pleasure.
For me, I have been placed in a field of work that I know I have been called in, and that I love. But I can't forget how much of a responsibility I have to be, as well as do what God has called me to. I am not just working to become a film-maker, I am working to become the man God has been forming in me from the foundation of the world, and no matter what I do, that is what will live on in eternity.
Eternity is a very long time to waste.