About a month ago I was digging through my closet. I don't quite know why I chose to clean out my closet that day, but I do know that I hadn't done it for a while. Amongst the mess I found some paper on which I had written a list of lifelong goals probably 3 years ago... I am guessing, because it was before I had invented a dating system for my subsequent letters and lists... Since part of the cleaning out my closet ordeal was a spiritual journey of reorganization, and cleansing... Sort of... I thought it would be cool to read over and see what I had yet to accomplish, and what things had changed in the time I wrote and stowed this note:
"Goal #1. Write a book."
Ok so maybe I have been a little slack on this one. I forgot this was on my list. Good to know it is a goal of mine!
Further down was something I could now check off my list:
"Goal #4. I want to be a black belt in Tae Kwon Do"
Many others I came across were small things. I wanted to go to a Falling Up Concert, and I wanted to create a blog. (and I still haven't done the former.) I wanted to achieve financial independence, to get married and have kids, to get my drivers license, to build my own home. Then I found what I feel is the most significant of all of these written goals of mine at this time in my life. It was written on the second page of my dreams:
"I want to work with dedicated people on film projects and I want to make at least one feature film that glorifies God."
I wrote these goals long before I even had an inkling of what God had in store. This was long before I knew of what kind of changes God would bring about in my life as well... I couldn't have imagined what it is like to fall in love with someone, and discover the agonies and growth of a relationship. I could only hope to someday have a part in a greater vision, but no real road to get there and achieve a dream I not only wished for, but felt called to take on.
It was before our family would take a huge risk and adopt 5 wonderful kids from a country called Liberia in western Africa.
It was long before I would be invited to start an apprenticeship with a Christian director, right here in Louisville! All I had were these small wishes in my mind, and I was so unaware of God's plan.
Through this reflection, I came to the obvious conclusion, that God knows my life's purpose better than I do! He put the planets in order, and he created the nucleus of a cell, and He knows my heart inside and out... He has brought me further than I had planned, so can I take any credit? I suppose the only credit I can take is that I have made my life available to him, through his grace. It is really a testament to Him no matter which way you look at it.
It was a year ago that I began working as a volunteer intern with City on a Hill. I was still new to the concept of driving, and I had so little experience. I am surprised that even after I got lost while getting lunch for everyone, and then breaking down in a car I had for all of 2 days that I was still given an increasing level of responsibility, and invested in. I continue to grow through the new experiences and the challenges, and the working relationships I have to work on at City on a Hill. But it is worth every moment I spend working long hours, or sitting in on meetings much bigger than me, or serving in whatever way I can, now as a member of a quickly growing ministry. Not to mention the experience I have gained in production, and learning an editing style through the various projects I am given. What did I do to deserve the opportunity? I don't know that I deserve it, but I have been given the awesome gift of goal number thirteen becoming a reality.