Semi-reclusive digital personality.... Me?

"Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is..." ~ C.S. Lewis

There are two things that I have failed spectacularly at lately. Perhaps others if I put my mind to it, but two for the sake of brevity..

This morning I had a moment of self-revelation. I was slain, in the figurative, at something which I was formerly uncontested!
I lost in the first 90 minutes of chess! (OK, maybe it was less than that) Not just any chess match though, this was a true battle of wits!! It was brilliant and bold, and a true victory by my opponent. My consternation over the loss you ask?
My victorious opponent was none other than my six year old brother. (He doesn't even wear glasses!) I was more than a little deflated. If I remember his kind words of consolation, they were:

"It's alright, you maybe can beat me when you get a little bigger."

Does this seeming prodigy know who he just outmatched in the game that has passed the test of time? The game played by the greatest philosophers and by generals to practice their skills at actual combat strategy and to stretch their problem solving abilities? I was more than your average child nerd. I beat my grew-up-in-the-chess-club relatives and probably said similar comforting words of my own. There is no justice!
So I admit to being taken off guard. I went in to the game sure to outmatch my brother, and teach him something about skillful chess playing. Now I feel as though I will end up submitting myself to my (very adorable) six year old mentor. He will teach me the ins and outs of the game, and maybe some day I will be good enough to play a real game again. Maybe.

"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered." ~ G.K. Chesterton

I have sat down many times intending to write a blog post again. I have!! I love the idea of blogging regularly. I love to read other peoples blogs. It lets me feel in touch with many people I don't see all that often, and gives great places to start conversations, etc. But my time to blog is not often aligned with my will to blog.
But tonight, on this independence day I am freeing myself from internet long-form blog semi-reclusivishness, and inconveniencing myself with a chance at adventure! At least, the glorious ability to share an adventure with others! If you don't mind being inconvenienced by reading of them. I have many adventures. Some very large, and some very small, and that are only exciting to me.

To continue this trend, I am working on a short round up of some movies I have seen recently. The latest I have just finished viewing, perhaps the best I have seen in a while! I am talking about The Great Debaters. I think that I am a small bit late in seeing it, but I am glad I finally did.

So if you read my blog encourage me to write more! If you play chess...

Umm. I play a mean game of checkers.

Variation On Commemorative Transfiguration and Communion At Magruder Park

Here goes everything.
My life, my work, my love, my heart, my truth, my village, my remedy.

No longer mine
You may ask, why everything should go... I will tell you.

It is poetry. Everything must go.
Rubbish.

I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ
Philippians 3:8

Goals I Found In My Closet (Part 1)

About a month ago I was digging through my closet. I don't quite know why I chose to clean out my closet that day, but I do know that I hadn't done it for a while. Amongst the mess I found some paper on which I had written a list of lifelong goals probably 3 years ago... I am guessing, because it was before I had invented a dating system for my subsequent letters and lists... Since part of the cleaning out my closet ordeal was a spiritual journey of reorganization, and cleansing... Sort of... I thought it would be cool to read over and see what I had yet to accomplish, and what things had changed in the time I wrote and stowed this note:

"Goal #1. Write a book."

Ok so maybe I have been a little slack on this one. I forgot this was on my list. Good to know it is a goal of mine!

Further down was something I could now check off my list:

"Goal #4. I want to be a black belt in Tae Kwon Do"

Many others I came across were small things. I wanted to go to a Falling Up Concert, and I wanted to create a blog. (and I still haven't done the former.) I wanted to achieve financial independence, to get married and have kids, to get my drivers license, to build my own home. Then I found what I feel is the most significant of all of these written goals of mine at this time in my life. It was written on the second page of my dreams:

"I want to work with dedicated people on film projects and I want to make at least one feature film that glorifies God."

I wrote these goals long before I even had an inkling of what God had in store. This was long before I knew of what kind of changes God would bring about in my life as well... I couldn't have imagined what it is like to fall in love with someone, and discover the agonies and growth of a relationship. I could only hope to someday have a part in a greater vision, but no real road to get there and achieve a dream I not only wished for, but felt called to take on.
It was before our family would take a huge risk and adopt 5 wonderful kids from a country called Liberia in western Africa.
It was long before I would be invited to start an apprenticeship with a Christian director, right here in Louisville! All I had were these small wishes in my mind, and I was so unaware of God's plan.
Through this reflection, I came to the obvious conclusion, that God knows my life's purpose better than I do! He put the planets in order, and he created the nucleus of a cell, and He knows my heart inside and out... He has brought me further than I had planned, so can I take any credit? I suppose the only credit I can take is that I have made my life available to him, through his grace. It is really a testament to Him no matter which way you look at it.

It was a year ago that I began working as a volunteer intern with City on a Hill. I was still new to the concept of driving, and I had so little experience. I am surprised that even after I got lost while getting lunch for everyone, and then breaking down in a car I had for all of 2 days that I was still given an increasing level of responsibility, and invested in. I continue to grow through the new experiences and the challenges, and the working relationships I have to work on at City on a Hill. But it is worth every moment I spend working long hours, or sitting in on meetings much bigger than me, or serving in whatever way I can, now as a member of a quickly growing ministry. Not to mention the experience I have gained in production, and learning an editing style through the various projects I am given. What did I do to deserve the opportunity? I don't know that I deserve it, but I have been given the awesome gift of goal number thirteen becoming a reality.

UK huh? Better change those colors...

+The Announcement (and Invitation)+

These are friends of mine who will be working with us at City on a Hill soon.

I am excited about this. :)

If you haven't seen any of Richard's work yet, get yourself familiar with Youtube and watch The Interrogator
That is a good place to start. Then I suggest you see his film The Oath of Desormeau and Washington's Cross... I find all his films are well written, and show a potential in directing that I hope to achieve myself someday.

Aletheia Stage and Film

But apparently they are unaware of the implications of taking sides here in Kentucky.

Na 2008!

This is a conference that I have not attended before, but I have heard a lot of good things about through friends who have attended, and also through Alex and Brett Harris' recommendation over at the Rebelution

One of the terms that really caught my attention, especially when I saw the add for it in Relevant Magazine, was "Humble Orthodoxy."
According to the website of Na or "New Attitude" Humble orthodoxy "is a commitment to believe, live, and represent biblical truth with humility."

If you are interested in going, do your research soon!

The Dates: MAY 24 – 27, 2008 | LOUISVILLE, KY

www.newattitude.org/conference

Hope to see you there!

Postponed Success

"Failure is only postponed success". That is what I told myself, many times over.

I had waited so long for this moment, trained for this moment. It had been three years since I began my journey, and for much of three years I had kept this day in my mind, preparing myself for this day.
So failing to break the majority of my boards during black belt testing wasn't what I had hoped for, it was crushing to think I would fail this testing. Just boards... between me and a black belt. Everything else was just as I had trained for, but I had been confident that my techniques would carry me through. I knew strength was there, I simply missed. 4 times, all over shot. I assumed I was done, yet I still had fighting to do. Master Ramey didn't dismiss me. He put me in the ring, and for the next hour I fought hard, my eyes flashed I believe.
I didn't care if I was giving all for nothing, I was doing this to prove to myself I had it in me, the black belt spirit that never dies. Failure is an important part of success.

It is said that Thomas Edison when asked about all his attempts before getting the filament right in his lighbulb responded: "I never failed once. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."
It is that spirit that achieves the difficult.
(I believe there is little actually impossible, in the sense that one cannot achieve the impossible, for once it is achieved it is no longer impossible but difficult. It was only perceived as impossible before.)

My mind went back to what I had written in an essay for that very testing I was faced with...

"The “Do” in Tae Kwon Do literally means way of life. That is how I feel about martial arts. A way is a path, and that of a black belt student of Tae Kwon Do is the beginning of a journey I am ready to begin. No matter how hard or how complicated circumstances are in life, the ability to overcome and find victory shall always be my greatest asset. Bring it on."

"Bring it on."

It was on. Was I?
It felt like my dream was postponed. A lot. I watched others break their boards, and held for them, it was hard to not feel a little sorry for myself celebrating their achievements. But a black belt should not feel sorry for himself...
This was not the first time failure would creep up on me, nor the last. I was going to be shaped by this, and be better because of it.
I was given grace. Wednesday March 5th I was faced with the same challenge, over again. I was given a second chance to change my life. This time I wasn't to fail. It was postponed success, but it was success achieved only because I stayed in, and fought till the end, and didn't remain defeated.
I can smile, it is a memory now. It means I begin to face greater challenges, greater odds, and greater victories.

We are only defined by our circumstances if we allow them to define us.