Excursions

I am preparing to travel to Texas tomorrow for the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival & Academy. http://www.independentchristianfilms.com

I know I will be placed in a pretty conservative group of people, where I am not quite so... having to sift through the legalism versus truth, and have a clear view of what that truth is, but I know there will be a lot of good teaching as well... Regardless of what I take away from this week, I am thankful for this
opportunity to connect with like minded people, and learn from those
with experience.

Filmmaking is such an important art for Christians to develop, and
something we have been pretty bad at in the past. I don't think it is
something we should do unless we are passionate about the art itself,
and care to do it well.
My desire is that I will be able to make films that ignite the thirst we all feel in our lives, and will lead the viewer to the source of truth, Jesus Christ. That is my hope at least. Just like any art form, it
must be real and from the heart. Humble because the truth needs no
pride. Loving because Christ loved to death. Definitely not contrived.

I am contemplating a quote by C.S. Lewis that I read in the book "Desiring God" by John Piper, because it is so good:

"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the
staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem
that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are
halfhearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition
when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go
on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by
the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
-C.S. Lewis


So what is he trying to say here? Somehow it speaks to me in a rather deep way. Too easily pleased... caught up in doing "good" things when the promise of God is so much greater, to which our "goodness" is only mud in the slum being formed into a pie by a child. There is so much more in store! I thank God for that reminder, because I am far to easily distracted. I need to know that God's pleasure is greater, and I need to find it. I have only begun to ingest the concepts of this book, but just in the first chapter it has me thinking quite a bit. I think I will take it with me on my trip.

And I think I will take my iPod and listen to Falling Up as well. Captiva has me captivated, held in it's grasp of thought and excursion into fields of stars and shipwrecks. Yes there are some really good things in life.

The Bourne Ultimatum

He chooses to follow his honest conviction against the flow of the world and what it values, rebelling against what he is told is his new truth, and instead fights to find who he is. His conscience leads him to find his true identity.
So do you choose to follow that thread of conviction you inherently know to be right, though it goes against what makes you comfortable? Do you instead adhere to the stickiness of God's word and rule - fighting against the lower nature? The nature that tends to war against God and separates us from His goodness...
Jason Bourne is in all of us. He is a fighter, and could carry his training to great exploits, doing what few others could do... But though he's been brainwashed, the truth remains in a voice inside his head. "You were not meant for this. This is not life." Just like him, we have that choice, and we can choose to ignore that voice, or instead follow it and become aliens, join a group of people who are despised for their beliefs and standards... Follow the world, or your purpose, which is in God alone.

Hard choice?

What if it means giving up what you think means the most to you? Your reputation, your job, your friends, your pride?

God will wreck your life, and send you on the run. Don't believe it? Look at those who were closest to Jesus on this earth. They followed His example, and were imprisoned, tortured and murdered. Yet still they counted it all gain. Look at the stories of people beyond the typical American Christian, in history's chronicles, and today around the world there still are disciples of Christ laying down their lives like He did.
But to them, it is worth it. They know that to obey the world, they would be rejecting a higher authority, a God who is worth dying for. Yes, it is hard, I know. Sometimes doubt nags my mind, and I wonder at the cost. Then I remember the scars that were taken undeservedly so that I could have life.
To be who God purposed you to be may not seem as exciting, perhaps it may turn out to be very tough, but think of who you live for, and why.

So the question: Jason Bourne or David Webb? Who will you be?

Are you going to follow the truth or what others tell you is acceptable?
Find who you are. The rest will follow.

In a younger world

"If God made me the way I am should I always like who I am? Who is it I am becoming? What if it is nothing like what I am meant to be and how can I tell?!?" - my thoughts

These questions cut closer to who I am as a man belonging to Christ, and not so much what I chose to do. Why I live, and what I think, and what it is I truly care about... are not those things more important in the long run?

I saw Switchfoot in concert for the first time two weeks ago. The song This Is Your Life was one of the highlights of a very energy charged concert. That message that stood out above all the lights and the performance. (Cool as the concert itself was, I got to meet them afterwords! They are some very cool guys... But I am getting off topic)
This morning before our pastor's message that song was played, and the question asked. "Are you who you want to be?" (I highly suggest watching this mornings message, and the past sermons in the series! You can watch them all online until Saturday the 8th: Southeast Christian Church - Sermons)
So I guess I have to ask myself that question, looking deeper than what I do (My work), or how others perceive me, but to really seek out the man I am inside. I am afraid of what I may find.

I guess we all feel that way at times. It is like we would rather be someone else than face who we truly are. But God gave us our own self to work with, and not another. In turn He gives us the power to choose everyday what will define us. He does give us passion for life at times, and wake up calls to our flesh at others... This is a part of living, and growing in Christ-likeness. It is an everyday choice. So perhaps in answer to those cutting questions, I can say both yes and no. We don't have to like who we are, when we realize we have become something that displeases God. It is in those times we should go to Him and pray for forgiveness, and ask for a will to change our habits daily. But at the same time, we need to thank God for his plan and purpose in making us who we are, and seek to use the gifts he has given us for His glory and pleasure.

For me, I have been placed in a field of work that I know I have been called in, and that I love. But I can't forget how much of a responsibility I have to be, as well as do what God has called me to. I am not just working to become a film-maker, I am working to become the man God has been forming in me from the foundation of the world, and no matter what I do, that is what will live on in eternity.

Eternity is a very long time to waste.

July 19, 2007

I am an adult now... Officially.
So what does that mean? I really have no clue. Perhaps the idea of being able to make choices, the kinds of choices your parents made for you, are now your own to make... I guess that is what makes so many look forward to the age of 18, when you become responsible for your actions.
It is easy to lose that innocence and free spirit of youth, the kind that makes life always on a happy slant.

Kids want to be adults, and adults want to be kids.

I want to be me, thankful for where I am, right now. Who I am with, and what work I have been given.
A wise man, and grip by profession told me yesterday, "Remember that wherever you are, there you are."

Here I am.

Making Your Mark

Life comes with that challenge. You probably know the one I refer to quite well, it is a search for a fundamental answer to a question we all are born asking, whether we are aware of it or not.

"Who am I? And why am I alive?" It is so basic, but at the same time, many have given up on finding an answer, and others (un)settle on going through the motions of living, trying everything that seems to promise some degree of happiness.
If you are indeed human, I am sure you search for purpose and something that seems to make sense and answer those nagging questions.
So do you settle? Do you keep moving on? What are you supposed to do? Life feels doomed to a bummer ending before it ever began. I don't know about you, but everyday I awake from dreams I can't explain, entering a world that I more often than not, feel very confused about, and then do things to keep myself alive and pursue dreams I hope come true, but like my cunfuzled night dreaming, I can't explain why I dream them and feel that my purpose lies in them.

Is it true then, what Solomon says in Ecclesiastes? "Meaningless, all of life is meaningless."

Something is not right. Something is terribly, terribly wrong. I was made for more than this, I just know it!
Why do some people seem to just know the answer? Why do people who seem to lose the most of what makes us the happiest, somehow the most joyful people we know?

Back to the challenge, to find meaning...

Its seems most of our American culture today seems to be sculpted around entertainment, thoughtful or not. Just keep looking at images meant to distract, and your eyes are kept away from the truth.
The truth is that all is not right here in this world. As close or as far as you choose to look, there is suffering that screams for help, for compassion from those more fortunate.
And we seem to make as little of an impact as we can on very much of anything, and avoid both conflict and the knowledge of pain in others. For all of us, it is much easier to watch people live life, than really live our own the way we were meant too. And as a challenge, as much for me as anyone else, nothing but knowing the dangerous, fascinating, and very real God of the universe, and having a relationship with Him can make sense and give a very distorted image the clarity of eternity.